sweet dreams about my dad

So I’ve been wanting to write about my grief process and losing my dad but I guess I’m in some sort of denial place still that I’m aware of because I don’t want to think about
that day or explain that day at all yet but what I do love and want to share are my dreams about him because they’ve become a little consistent thing now since. A sweet thing.

God is so sweet. I’ve had a few dreams about dad already. All of them the best dreams. In my dreams we’re always close and he’s always happy almost like an assurance from God that everything is okay and he’s in a good place. These dreams are almost like memories that are still happening even tho he’s gone? There’s something sweet about these like little presents from God each time. Hey it’s beautiful.

When I dream about him there’s always affection that was barely there the older I got when he was around. I remember always wanting a dad that swung me around or gave me hugs and kisses but that wasn’t my dad and that’s okay. But my dreams are like perfect moments of just hugs and kisses to my dad. Almost making up for the years and years that we didn’t do them enough.

My dreams.

So my very first dream was just a couple of weeks after he was gone. I had dreamed that he was sitting on a bed and we were all together as a family, surrounding him with love and kindness, serving him treats and laughing. The room was filled with joy as we knew that those were the last moments that we had with him. I felt peace and closure. Again God is kind. I needed to experience this for my healing.

My second dream was a very sweet dream, I had dreamed that I was at work, busy with my day and there he shows up, I drop everything I’m doing, scream “daddy” in absolute excitement and joy and run into his arms. Almost childlike, I always compare it to when a child gets picked up from school, that joy that fills them when they see their parent. This is was favorite dream. I miss him sooo much.

My recent dream which was last night, I was riding my bike in some neighborhood. As I ride I see my dad walking on a sidewalk, so I stop and again just run to him and hug him telling him how much I miss him, bursting into tears. He looks well and happy. I don’t know what he’s been up to up there with God but he says to me ‘I have a little scratch on my back from working’ my dad was always a baby when he was sick or hurt and he’d love for me or my mom to just feel sorry for him hahahahaha so that reminded me of that. I looked at his back gently, it was a small scratch so he was fine. I then just rapped my arm around his and we walked down the street.

Those are the dreams about my dad.